The poignant beauty of grief

Some years back a friend helped us with a family funeral. Thereafter he went to live and work in New York. We developed a tradition. When he comes in summer time we meet at the Pt Lonsdale Cemetery where both our parents and other family are buried. We say our evening prayers; place flowers on the graves and then drink fine red wine.

This February we were joined by another friend. The three of us met initially in Taize, decades back.

As we settled a lady came up, looking for water. She had flowers and told us she was visiting the grave of her husband who had died recently.

While we were reading the evening lections, she was in front of us, tenderly arranging her flowers on the earthy grave.

The poignant beauty of her grief needed no elaboration. We gave her some of our flowers and told her we were just there saying our prayers, remembering loved ones. With her consent, we added this couple’s names to our prayers.

As we all know, life is full of separations and partings; varying in their painfulness.

She went on her way, not looking quite so sad. This photo carries a glimpse of her tenderness.

I have been reading: “The Joy of God: Collected Writings of Sister Mary David”- A nun of the Benedictine contemplative community of St Cecilia’s Abbey on the Isle of Wight.

In it she quotes from the book of Sirach (30:21-3). “Do not give yourself over to sorrow...”

Cheerfulness takes a certain kind of courage. In the grace of the divine in daily life, it is good when we can give reciprocal encouragement.

Bishop Philip Huggins.

President, National Council of Churches in Australia